My insanity got over me, but now finally back with my conciousness.
ii may have hurt myself... luckily it lasted for 2 days.
ii wan to say thanks...to those people...who brings me back.
it ends today.. ii will tell you what ive been through/done.
day 1 of torture...
how ii wish ii can slit my wrist, but it's silly to do this and pain. So ii starve myself the whole day. ii felt weak and dizzy. ii drank lot of soft drinks --the only thing ii consumed-- such as coke trying to damage my organs. after work and finished my shower... ii kinda lost my conciousness because of the pain ive been through..so ii cut my left arm.
it's painful...but not as painful than this miserable emotion. After few minutes of bleed, my hand eventually turned numb (and pain). dont worry..it's nothing serious. luckily the wound wasnt that deep, ii dont know wat will happen if ii have had cut it deeper/longer. ii went to sleep later on.
day 2 of torture...
woke up at 6am, hungry much. ii forced myself not to join breakfast with my parents . ii went to work energyless... ii felt weaker, and hardly able to do them right. ii drank a cup of coke (again), and the only thing ii consumed, then start starving myself again for the second day. eventually gastric started to build up, and im enduring it. For a second, ii see everything white as (ii think) ii almost passed out but ii didnt. ii still have little strength. my abdoment feel like punctured inside.
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the torture ends at around 6.30pm... after almost 2 days, ii finally went to toilet and urinate. it was a little blood in it. ii probably seriously hav damage my kidneys. then later on ii quickly drank lot of water. around 9pm, my thigh cramp painfully for the first time..probably there's too much lactic acids, and no water to neutralise it..
ii ate lot of healthy foods that night, and water...for 'repaying' the sins to my body.
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p/s: dont worry. im okay for now. thanks. ive deleted those posts and hope you, the readers, who have read it to keep quiet/forget. ii will be the little bird who trapped in its cage.
p/s/s: it's not about love ive done this. dont misunderstand. *grin*
Syazz : your word "miss" brings me back..partially.
SC: your harsh advice/encouragement made me pissed off. so ii fight myself to proof you wrong. you watch out! i'll get you next time.
